Mario VS Sonic VS Crash VS SpongeBob

Description
Mario Kart 8 VS Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing VS Crash Team Racing VS Nicktoons Racing! These characters may be the protagonists of their racing games, but only one hero will make it out on top today! Tune in to find out who will win on Death Race!

Intro
Ringmaster: Come one, come all to this week's episode of Death Race, where the only rule is to just not die. For this one, we'll be putting the main protagonists from 4 racing games to fight to the death to see who will be the true hero! Now, let's get started!

(Death Race!)

Mario

Ringmaster: Let's start with the mushroom-eating plumber himself, Mario! He has spent time burning rubber since 1992! Wow, now that's interesting! His newest vehicle can go anti-gravity, it can travel through water, and it has a parachute to fly over large gaps. No wonder why this is the main kart.

Sonic the Hedgehog

Ringmaster: Yes, it's time for the blue blur himself to shine in his all new Speed Star! This baby is so fast that it can go through loops and fly like a butterfly over massive gaps without breaking a sweat! He can even go Super Sonic and do a supersonic boost that can power through whoever's on the track.

Crash Bandicoot

Ringmaster: The small-brained marsupial, Crash Bandicoot, is back on the track today! Crash's kart may look normal, but then, WHOOSH! An Aku Aku mask will appear to help and make the bandicoot impervious to any damage. Hey, can I have one of those?

SpongeBob SquarePants

Ringmaster: And finally, who lives in a pineapple under the sea. You heard me right, SpongeBob is ready to tear up the track! And in a pineapple... Huh. A-Anyways, he has plenty of items at his disposal: baby powder, a trash can, a bubble, and a wormhole to transport him into the next place. And with that out of the way, let's meet our commentators Wiz and Boomstick and get this race started!

(Death Race!)

Wiz: Thanks Ringmaster.

Boomstick: Look Wiz! I made my own Aku Aku mask!

[Boomstick puts the mask on as his skin flashes yellow.]

Aku Aku: Boogadabah!

[He then runs off and crashes.]

Boomstick: Oh gawd, my back!

Wiz: Anyways, let's get started.

[The projector shows the track at Seaside Hill.]

(Cue: SA2 (Main Riff) - Sonic Adventure 2)

Wiz: We're here at Ocean Ruin, ready to race in this bright, sunny day. The rules are same: there will be three laps, and the goal is to reach the finish line, but it doesn't matter how they get there. Even when dying, they can take home the gold. But, at the start of the second and third lap, there will be a surprise.

Death Race
[At Ocean Ruin, the racers are stationed at the starting line.]

Wiz: Now, let's meet our racers at the starting line.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH RAAACCCEEE!!!

Ringmaster: 3, 2, 1, GO!!!

(Cue: Can You Feel the Sunshine - Sonic R)

[The racers speed through as Sonic takes first.]

Wiz: And Sonic is in the lead due to the Speed Star's great... well, speed.

Boomstick: What a way to live up to the name.

[Suddenly, the starting line glitches out as Dr. Eggman appears on his Egg Monster.]

Boomstick: Now Eggman's out on the field!

Wiz: Well, let's hope that he doesn't mess with the competition.

[A majority of the lap continues as normal.]

Wiz: Huh, this lap is... oddly tame.

Boomstick: Well, that's about to change!

[SpongeBob uses his wormhole and transports himself to second place. After that, he places down baby powder on the road, which everyone except Eggman dodges.]

Eggman: Why you little-!

[Eggman presses a button on his capsule as the wheels retract and missile launchers appear.]

(Cue: Egg Albatross - Sonic Heroes)

Wiz: Look out, racers! Eggman's got an All-Star move at the ready!

Eggman: Now, allow me to introduce you to my latest creation.

[The doctor flies past Crash and Mario, setting his sights on SpongeBob as the racers approach the first jump. With the press of a button, he fires multiple missiles at SpongeBob as he flies over the jump. The sponge falls into the water as a Chopper leaps out of it, tearing up SpongeBob and his kart. It then spits out a pickle as the race continues.]

(Cue: Can You Feel the Sunshine - Sonic R)

Boomstick: And SpongeBob is out! Looks like many of peoples' childhoods are ruined now...

[In the underwater tunnel, Eggman speeds past Sonic.]

Eggman: Hasta la bye bye, hedgehog! Ohohohoho!

[Sonic is angered by this and drives up to Eggman. The two of them begin trying to gain the lead by driving past each other.]

Wiz: Sonic's trying to gain the lead on Eggman as the racers approach the last jump.

Sonic: Goodbye, Baldy McNosehair!

[The racers make it past the second jump as a lightbulb goes off in Crash's head. But instead of doing his plan now, he decides to wait until the shortcut.]

Boomstick: What's Crash gonna be thinking of?

[After getting out of the second tunnel, Mario and Sonic go the normal route as Crash and Eggman go through the shortcut. Before Eggman can make it past, Crash uses his plan.]

Wiz: Looks like he's using his Aku Aku mask!

[As soon as Eggman makes it halfway through, Crash uses his mask to speed by and knock him into the building construct, blowing it up.]

Boomstick: And the egghead goes crackin'.

[At the starting line, there's a portal directly on it. The racers then go through it, taking them to Cortex Castle.]

(Cue: Cortex Castle - Crash Team Racing: Nitro-Fueled)

Ringmaster: Time for the second lap! Keep it going!

Wiz: Our racers are now here at Cortex Castle, as they make it past the bridge. The Komodo Bros. are here throwing swords as the first obstacle of the lap.

[The racers narrowly dodge both swords.]

Boomstick: And they made it past without a scratch! Man, these racers are near foolproof!

Wiz: Keyword being near.

[After they make it past the hallway of spiders, Koala Kong throws a giant boulder onto the track that follows the racers as they make it down the stairs.]

Boomstick: Now, the racers are dodging this boulder Indiana Jones-style!

Wiz: The boulder is getting close, who will make their move?

[Suddenly, the Chaos Emeralds surround Sonic and turn him into his Super form.]

(Cue: Invincibility Theme - Sonic Heroes)

Boomstick: Woo! Sonic has entered All-Star!

Sonic: Now I'm serious!

[Sonic speeds to the bottom of the stairs and hits both Mario and Crash, stopping them in place.]

(Cue: Cortex Castle - Crash Team Racing: Nitro-Fueled)

Wiz: And with this he has made it to the bottom of the stairs and past the boulder. But let's see if Mario and Crash can do the same.

[Mario immediately takes out a star and turns invincible, speeding by to come across Sonic. Unfortunately for Crash, he isn't able to make it past in time as the boulder crushes him and flattens him. The boulder makes it past the stairs and bursts through the wall. Crash's ghost then flies away.]

Wiz: Another endangered species further extinct...

Boomstick: And now Pinstripe has got his rifle ready to shoot the racers down.

[Sonic drives through the bullets as one scrapes the Speed Star, much to Sonic's dismay. Instead of doing that, Mario builds enough speed and makes it past the shortcut.]

Wiz: Mario is in the lead as he makes it past Sonic and approaches the starting line.

Boomstick: But Sonic isn't giving up! He's catching up to the plumber!

[The two approach the portal and go through it, making it to Rainbow Road.]

(Cue: Rainbow Road (Final Lap) - Mario Kart Wii)

Ringmaster: We're into the final lap! Who will break out there?

Wiz: The racers are now on Rainbow Road.

Boomstick: We're now in space, people! This last lap's gonna be awesome!

[Mario and Sonic race down a steep incline zooming past some meteors and some boost pads, ending it off with a trick. As soon as they land, a cannonball is fired onto the track.]

Wiz: And one last major obstacle is the King Koopa himself, Bowser!

[Bowser lets out a roar as he stands on his airship. As Mario and Sonic continue racing, Bowser's airship continues attacking them, even getting close to the track.]

Boomstick: Now the airship's spewing some hot fire! The literal kind.

Wiz: The two are reaching the near end of the track. There must be away to get Bowser off their tails.

[Suddenly, Mario comes up with an idea. He then takes out a fireball and shoots it at the airship, wrecking it.

Mario: So long-a, Bowser!

[Bowser lets out a roar as he and the airship fall towards the Earth.]

Wiz: And Bowser is down!

[Mario is leading as he takes out a Bob-omb and Sonic takes out a Giant Rocket.]

Wiz: Mario and Sonic are about to reach the finish line. Which explosive will outdo the other?

[Mario and Sonic launch the items, causing a massive explosion as soon as they make contact. The audience gasps.]

Boomstick: W-WHAT?!

Wiz: This might actually be our first tie!

[As soon as Wiz finishes his sentence, Sonic bursts out of the explosion and crosses the finish line.]

(Cue: Finish Line - Mario Kart Wii)

Ringmaster: FINISH!

Results
Ringmaster: The winner is Sonic!

Boomstick: Oh my god, my mind is more officially blown than the time I shot my gun the wrong way!

Wiz: Definitely, Boomstick. Just when you thought you have seen it all, you get a race like that.

Boomstick: Don't forget, Wiz! Livin' up to the name!

Ringmaster: Don't touch that dial now, we'll be back with some more bloodshed than you can shake a gearbox at! Thank you all for watching today, and come back for next week's episode of DEATH RACE!!!

Standings
1st: Sonic the Hedgehog

2nd: Mario

3rd: Crash Bandicoot

4th: SpongeBob SquarePants