Herbie vs Lightning McQueen vs Mickey Mouse vs Vanellope Von Schweetz

Description
Herbie vs Cars vs Mickey and Friends vs Wreck-It Ralph! Which Disney racer will win?

Intro
Ringmaster: Hello and welcome everybody to a brand new episode of Death Race! This time, we're doing something that'll probably ruin your childhood! That's right! Today's combatants are Disney characters! Let's see who are racers are today!

Herbie the Lovebug
First up is Herbie the Lovebug! This race car with the number 53 has a mind of its own! Unfortunately, there's not much I can really say about this guy. Although he can perform some amazing stunts which may come in handy if he needs to do so.

Lightning McQueen
Coming from Radiator Springs is one of our racers from season one of this show, Lightning McQueen! He's a living vehicle who can actually speak and can also do amazing stunts on the race track! Best of all, he can use...machine guns and missiles?! That's right! McQueen can blow up his opponents!

Mickey Mouse's Toon Car
Next up is the mascot of Disney himself, Mickey Mouse in his Toon Car! The Toon Car isn't really special, I know but whatever. It's just looks cool! Okay? I'd rather not talk garbage about someone like Mickey or any of his friends. Yeah

Vanellope Von Schweetz's Candy Car
And last but not least is the president of Sugar Rush, Vanellope Von Schweetz in her candy car! Yes, this car is literally made out of candy but the best thing about this is the fact that Vanellope can just use the power of glitches to teleport around the race track! I don't think it was a good idea to include someone who can glitch around even if she's in a car but eh, it doesn't matter.

With all of that out of the way, let's join our commentators Wiz and Boomstick before the race!

~Cut to Wiz and Boomstick~

Boomstick: Oh yeah! Life will definitely be more than a highway once they ride this track!

Wiz: Like every other time, whoever crosses the finish line first wins but there's no rules concerning how they get there, even if the winner is damaged.

~Cut to the race~

Death Race
(Herbie, Lightning, Mickey and Vanellope rev their engines at the starting line.)

Wiz: Anyways, let's join our racers at the starting line!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH RACE!!!

(Once everyone passes the starting line, Vanellope glitches ahead of everyone with Herbie, Lightning and Mickey attempting to catch up.)

Wiz: They're off! Vanellope takes the lead right away but it looks like Mickey is having trouble with Herbie, letting McQueen drive ahead of them.

Boomstick: There's really no point of having a racer that teleports via glitching if they can just dodge every attack.

(Lightning pushes Vanellope to the wall surrounding the track, giving him the lead as Herbie also goes past her.)

Boomstick: And McQueen manages to come in first at the moment while Herbie does whatever it takes to stop him from winning!

Wiz: As we take the first turn around the corner, we approach the cake mountain, similar to the one from Sugar Rush but with something even less child friendly.

Boomstick: Incoming falling cherry bombs!

(Tons of cherry bombs are seen falling down from the sky, exploding two seconds after reaching the ground. Lightning, Mickey and Herbie attempt to dodge while Vanellope glitches past, only to have machine guns shoot towards her. Vanellope speeds up and jumps over a pit of fire from the top of the cake mountain. Lightning and Mickey also surpass the jump but Herbie unfortunately gets hit from one of the cherry bombs from behind, causing him to not only jump over the edge but ends up falling into the fire pit as he explodes to his death.)

~Cut to Wiz and Boomstick~

Boomstick: Although Herbie can't speak, we can easily tell he didn't love the fire pit! Get it, Wiz? Because he's Herbie the Lovebug.

Wiz: Yeah. I get it Boom-. Where did you get the Mickey ears?

Boomstick: What? This is a race of Disney characters! You know I got to put my Mickey ears on.

~Cut back to the race~

(Vanellope looks back to Lightning and Mickey and sticks her tongue at them. Mickey drives ahead as Lightning gets furious about being stuck at third place and loads his machine guns. He starting shooting Mickey and Vanellope which attempt to dodge the bullets.)

Wiz: Looks like McQueen made his decision and unleashed his machine guns! The others are going to have a hard time winning at this rate.

Boomstick: Wait a minute! Vanellope's not even-

(Before Boomstick can finish his sentence, Vanellope glitches once again and goes even further than before.)

Boomstick: Nevermind! She glitches ahead! No surprise everyone! Doesn't matter right now because we're up to another deadly obstacle which I like to call the 'Hall of Pain'! Featuring giant knives and TNT!

(The remaining racers enter the Hall of Pain which almost looks similar to a normal hallway from a house as the racers successfully succeed and continue the race without any pain.)

~Cut to Wiz and Boomstick~

Boomstick: What?! Come on! This was even harder than the deadly cake mountain!

Wiz: And that's another waste of money for a deadly obstacle that could harm any racers.

Boomstick: At least Vanellope didn't use her glitching abilities for this one.

~Cut back to the race~

(Lightning speeds ahead of Mickey who grabs out his sorcerer's hat, jumps out of the Toon Car which somehow continues driving by itself as a flying broomstick appears. Mickey jumps on the broomstick and uses his magic powers and shocks Vanellope who tries to glitch away but can't do so. It seems that Mickey took away her glitching abilities.)

Boomstick: Yes! Thank you Mickey! She can finally race normally like McQueen without those annoying glitching powers!

Vanellope: Aw man! Seriously?! Not cool rodent!

(Lightning aims his missiles at Mickey who quickly dodges and takes away not only his missiles but his machine guns too.)

Lightning: Hey! You missed one!

(Mickey looks at a missile which explodes on Mickey's broomstick which goes out of control.)

Mickey: Oh boy.

(Mickey screams in horror as the broomstick falls down at a high speed, causing itself to explode on the Toon Car in front of Lightning and Vanellope. Mickey ends up missing the race track and begins to fall down from the sky.)

Boomstick: Hot dog! Disney's mascot just lost his chance of victory! That's unbelievable!

Wiz: McQueen and Vanellope will need to do something in order to win today's race and fast!

(Lightning drives ahead until he's right next to Vanellope.)

Lightning: Have fun being a regular kid while you can because I'm not slowing down for one more moment!

(Lightning drives ahead of Vanellope with a grin before creating an oil slick behind him, causing Vanellope to lose control of her candy car. Lightning stops creating the oil slick once he begins to approach the burning Toon Car. He pushes his wheels up as he lifts himself into the air, jumping over the burning Toon Car. Vanellope screams in fear before crashing into the Toon Car, causing a bigger explosion than the one Mickey created while Lightning passes the finish line before landing back on all four wheels. The air horns go off.)

Ringmaster: The winner is Lightning McQueen!

Lightning: Kachow!

Conclusion
~Cut to Wiz and Boomstick~

Boomstick: Face it everyone. We all know this race wasn't going to be so child friendly and Schweet-z even if this was a race between Disney characters.

Wiz: You do realise a child crashed directly into the Toon Car which eventually caught on fire before she did so?

Boomstick: I mean, it's one way to stop a glitch!

The TV screen behind Wiz and Boomstick turns on as Ringmaster appears.

Ringmaster: Now that's really dark. Even for me.

~Cut to Ringmaster~

Ringmaster: Anyways, come back next time for a brand new...DEATH RACE!

Next Time
Thomas the Tank Engine vs Hogwarts Express vs Polar Express vs Wilson



Ranking
1st: Lightning McQueen

2nd: Vanellope Von Schweetz

3rd: Mickey Mouse

4th: Herbie the Lovebug