Ghostbusters Ecto-1 Battle Royale

Ghostbusters Ecto-1 Battle Royale is a What-If? Death Race by DBDoctor13. It sees four different versions of The Ghostbuster's Ecto-1 from four different universes put together in a Death Race to determine which Ecto-1 is the best.

DESCRIPTION
Ghostbuster v Ghostbuster: Dawn of Busting! The Ecto-1 is a unique vehicle for any Ghostbuster no matter what dimension you visit. Today, we pit four different versions of the famous vehicle against each other in a no-holds-barred race to determine which one is the definitive best.

INTRO
RINGMASTER: Come one, come all to this incredibly special episode of Death Race where the only rules are be the first to cross the finish line by any means necessary! I’m your host, The Ringmaster, and today’s racers might not be afraid of a ghost, but they should be afraid about the possibility of becoming one! That’s right! Today we pit four Ghostbusters Vehicles from four different universes against each other to determine who will come out on top! Let’s meet the racers!

RINGMASTER: First it’s the best, the beautiful, the original ECTO-1! Originally a 1959 Cadillac that was purchased by Ray Stantz who along with Egon Spengler upgraded the SHIT out of the car (which was necessary since it was missing a lot of parts) making it into one of the coolest cars of the 1980’s! The arsenal includes a super muon trap which can suck ghosts in from the top once dazed, a bumper strong enough to pull giant doors and gates off, and one of the most prominent sirens ever!

RINGMASTER: From the Dimension known as 68-R, it’s The REAL Ghostbuster’s Ecto-1! Not to be confused with the other animated group that ran around with the monkey! Though similar to the original live-action counterpart, this car includes a couple of different features including a machine that sucks ecto-surges into it, a hydraulic bumper, a freaking canon, and the ability to temporarily propel itself small distances similar to a praying mantis!

RINGMASTER: From everybody’s favorite movie that came out in 2016, it’s Dimension 80-C’s Ecto-1 from Ghostbusters: Answer the Call! Based on a 1984 Cadillac Fleetwood hearse, this car which was originally used as a vehicle to take coffins to the grave, now hosts equipment and tools to take Ghosts to the containment grid. At least during the end credits. The special tricks on this vehicle include long-range Psychokinetic Energy Scanners, a loudspeaker, a hydrogen tank, and a nuclear reactor on the hood!

RINGMASTER: Lastly, from Dimension 50-S, it’s the Ecto-4WD! This might appear to be the bulkiest of all Ecto’s we’ve seen so far as it seems to be modified from a jeep, but it contains a platform on the back allowing four Ghostbusters to fire their packs off and defend the car from attacking ghosts! Despite the bulkiness, it does have surprisingly good maneuverability despite its larger frame. Plus, the Ghostbusters on the back platform seem to be able to stand upright simply fine even when the car is making VERY sharp turns!

RINGMASTER: Time to get this show on the road, so let’s check in with Wiz and Boomstick!

WIZ: Thank you, Ringmaster, it looks like our four Ghostbusting Vehicles are ready for the ride of their lives!

BOOMSTICK: And I helped!

WIZ: Should I be concerned this time, Boomstick?

BOOMSTICK: Nope. In fact, I think you’ll be quite impressed with what I have to offer today!

WIZ: Then let’s check in with our racers!

DEATH RACE
(Cue Song: Ecto-Termination by Therewolf Media)

We cut to the racetrack where we see the four Ghostbuster Cars at the starting line.

WIZ: Let’s join our racers at the starting line.

BOOMSTICK: IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH RAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

The light changes to green as the four Ecto-1’s take off. They are all able to catch up with each other.

WIZ: Impressive, it looks like the Ecto-1’s have managed to keep up equally.

BOOMSTICK: Let’s see if we can change that!

Suddenly, a blue car swerves towards the Ecto-Racers, causing them to move out of the way.

???: Watch the road, jackasses!

WIZ: What the hell?!

BOOMSTICK: Well, I know the Ghostbusters have previously had to deal with drunk drivers in Activision’s game, so I invited my relatives to help out. That was Grandma Boomstick.

A red car swerves past the Ecto-1’s.

BOOMSTICK: Sister Boomstick.

SISTER BOOMSTICK: You assholes!

A green car swerves past them.

BOOMSTICK: Uncle Boomstick.

UNCLE BOOMSTICK: Invite me to Thanksgiving Dinner!

A tan car swerves past them.

BOOMSTICK: And that was Grandpa Boomstick.

GRANDPA BOOMSTICK: Hail to the king!

The Ecto-1’s approach what seems to be the Brooklyn Bridge over a body of water.

WIZ: And our Ecto-1’s now pass over the Brooklyn Bridge…

Suddenly, the 2016 Ecto-1 Swerves to the side knocking the vehicle into the ocean, as the Ghostbusters and their driver fall screaming.

WIZ: And our first death comes in as the 2016 Ecto-1 takes out the Ecto-4WD!

ABBY: Ha-ha! Take that sexists!

PATTY: Actually, I think I saw a woman on there.

ERIN: Oh shit! Oh shit! We just killed a woman! Are we the bad guys?!

The cars now go up a ramp leading to a long rooftop which seems to resemble an elongated version of Dana Barret’s Apartment Rooftop from the end of the first movie. Suddenly, there is a large stomping noise as the ground shakes. Cutting back to Wiz and Boomstick, the area they are in shakes as well.

WIZ: What the hell?!

Wiz looks at Boomstick accusingly.

WIZ: Boomstick… What the hell did you do?!

BOOMSTICK: Well, I went for something more… innocent. Like you asked.

Back on the roof, a giant white fluffy hand grabs on to a portion of the top of the building. Another one grabs the other side. Finally, the figure is revealed to be none other than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. He roars, but looks at the ground with a large dumb happy grin on his face.

WIZ: THE STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN?!? BOOMSTICK ARE YOU NUTS?!?

Stay Puft looks around happily as he spots the Ecto-1’s racing.

STAY PUFT: Me like cars! [Laughs] Vroom-Vroom! Ha-Ha!

Suddenly, he spots the 2016 Ecto-1 and his expression drops. He suddenly looks enraged.

BOOMSTICK (V.O.): Well, it’s not like Gozer’s mind is possessing him anymore.

We zoom in on Stay Puft’s eyes as the scene becomes tinted red and we hear a variation of the Kill Bill Theme. We see a transparent clip of the 2016 Movie where the Stay Puft Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon is popped by Erin via the Swiss Army Knife in the rear. The Kill Bill Theme stops and the tinting disappears as Stay Puft grabs a chunk of the building and tosses it at the 2016 Ecto-1.

BOOMSTICK: Seriously, Wiz. You need to calm down. What’s the worse he could…

Behind him, the monitor shows the chunk of debris crushes the 2016 Ecto-1 making it explode in a big fiery cloud of death. The remaining two Ecto-1’s continue to race down from the building back onto solid ground and start heading towards the finish line.

WIZ: You do remember that the 2016 Ghostbusters destroyed a balloon of Stay Puft by stabbing him in the ass with a knife, yes?

BOOMSTICK: Sorry, Wiz. I guess like most people, I just forgot about it. Still, they had a nuclear device on top of their vehicle. It was bound to blow up eventually. Remember kids; somedays you just can’t get rid of a bomb!

We follow the two Ecto-1’s before getting an inside shot of The Real Ghostbusters’ Vehicle.

RGB RAY: Egon, I think it’s time to bust out the canon!

RGB EGON: I concur, Ray.

The Ray Stantz of 68-R goes to the roof which now inexplicably has the Canon on top. He begins firing at the Live-Action Ecto-1 which manages to dodge each blast. We cut inside the other Ecto-1 to see Winston driving.

WINSTON: Just once, I’d like a normal day where we don’t nearly die!

PETER (Sarcastic Chuckle): Where’s the fun in that?

EGON: Ray; I realize that vehicle has a limited rocket boost. If we can fool them into activating it, I think we can shoot the underbelly of their Ecto-1 and ignite the fuel lines, which will in-turn, detonate the devices on top of their car…

PETER: It’ll go boom, Egon. We get it.

Ray sticks his head out the window and fires a proton stream. The Real Ghostbusters Ecto-1 activates the propulsion as Ray fires a boson dart from the Proton Pack at the Animated Ecto-1, just as 68-R Ray fires a blast at the Live-Action Ecto-1. Both hit their target and both vehicles are caught in an explosion but the Live-Action Ecto-1 is propelled past the finish line first. There are gasps and murmurs until The Live-Action Ghostbusters manage to pull themselves from the wreckage as the audience applauds happily.

RESULTS
RINGMASTER: What an amazing battle! The winner of this Death Race is the original Ecto-1!

BOOMSTICK: That was definitely one GHASTLY Fight! Get it? Cause they’re cars that carry Ghostbusters. Cars use gas?

Wiz suddenly looks horrified.

WIZ: Oh no.

BOOMSTICK: What?

WIZ: Boomstick, we just killed a bunch of Ghostbusters.

BOOMSTICK: Yeah? So?

At that moment, the spirits of the Sanctum of Slime Ghostbusters, the Answer the Call Ghostbusters, and the Real Ghostbusters appear looking at the two commentators angrily.

BOOMSTICK: OH, FUCK!!! RUN!!!

Wiz and Boomstick run off screaming as the now-dead Ghostbusters’ spirits chase them, firing their spectral streams at them.

RINGMASTER (Laughing): Well, looks like those guys don’t stand a ghost of a chance! We’ll get this sorted out and then you can come back next week for another DEATH RACE!!!

TRIVIA
The song Ecto-Termination is a refrence to the Ecto-1 and how this battle will leave only one vehicle remaining. Ideally, it would by a rock/techno/synthetic high-octane song with various moments where the Ghostbusters Theme by Ray Parker Jr. can be heard at certain points.